What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?
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What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

Did you know our emotions and inner thoughts and the way we are raised by our caregivers, determine the kind of relationship we develop, as we grow older? If we grow up with emotional turmoil and we see that our caregivers have neglected each other as we grow up, we grow up with the fear in mind that our partner will end up doing the same with us. All those thought patterns determine the kind of relationship style we follow. In general, people fall in the below categories: 

A. Anxious Attachment Style 
B. Avoidant Attachment Style 
C. Narcissists 
D. Secure Attachment Style 

Anxious Attachment Style 

Generally, people with Anxious Attachment Style, exhibit the following characteristics. 

Signs of Anxious Attachment in adults are as below: 

- Low Self Esteem. 
- Worrying that your partner will leave you or abandon you. 
- Carving for Re-Assurance. 
- Being overly dependent on your partner. 
- Being highly emotional and impulsive. 
- Acting excessively clingy. 

Avoidant Attachment Style 

These kinds of people generally exhibit the following characteristics: 

- They are Self Dependant. 
- They are not able to communicate their emotions easily and properly. 
- They have underlying unresolved issues. 
- They generally get a bit uncomfortable with intimacy. 
- They distance themselves once they feel that they are overloaded with emotions and need a break.
- These types of people could be commitment-phobic. 


People with Narcissistic qualities will exhibit the following behavior: 

- An extreme need for self-importance. 
- Lack of sympathy/empathy. 
- Exhibit exploitative behavior. 
- Always pinpoint the fault of others to defend them in any situation. 
- Blaming others and not accepting their own fault. 

Secure Attachment Style 

A person with a much stable mindset will exhibit the following – (Although they can behave differently on different occasions as we are a human being but most of the time their approach will exhibit the following traits) 

- Doesn’t get triggered too easily. 
- Works with a calm mind. 
- Observe a situation from all possible angles and tries to reach a win-win situation for all involved.
- Don’t lose self-confidence if they are criticized, rather they work towards self-improvement. 
- Can communicate their emotions in a more balanced way.

About the Author: 

Debangana Basu (ORCID: 0000-0001-7181-2506) is a Kolkata-based human resource consultant.

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DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this insight piece are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the IndraStra Global.